Temitope Adeolu-Akinyemi: Sex…..what’s the big deal?

I came across this piece on Temitope Adeolu-Akinyemi’s wall on facebook under the title “Sex…..what’s the big deal?” and decided to share it on my blog. It sure is one of the best piece’s i have read on such an interesting subject. Enjoy and please leave your comments for the writer.

Last weekend, one of my aburos got married. As usual, i was really excited! Of course, i saw her radiance and glow. I saw and could tell how happy they both were. It was a day they had looked forward to for a number of years when they first met. They were so excited you could feel it! That’s what you see in most wedding ceremonies, isn’t it? As i looked at them, i saw a couple who could give full expression to each other, with no holds barred from that day because they had been able to hold bodi till their wedding day.


When i was newly married, i didn’t know much about the sex drive. The need for learning became apparent when i discovered how divergent our views were on the topic. Today, i know that i had to go through that process of learning for myself, and several other people who needed what i lacked then.


In my bid to improve my financial status about 7years ago, i spent a lot of time reading related books. Then i read Napoleon’s Hill classic book, “Think and Grow Rich” and while the focus was finance, i made a very shocking discovery about the sex drive. Here’s are some excerpts:


“The desire for sex is the most powerful of human desires. “When driven by this desire, men develop keenness of imagination, courage, will-power, persistence, and creative ability unknown to them at other times.”


“Now, YOU can use SEX to purposely power up your brain and let your creative genius juices flow.


If it ain’t hot and hard already, stoke up the fire…


It’s a well known fact that most of the geniuses, creators, leaders and entrepreneurs of the past and present have very strong sex drives. If you are a bit ‘limp’ or ‘cold’ when it comes to sex, you need to take action and get your juices flowing again!”


As i read these words, i was in utter shock! I had never imagined sex had any other use other than fun and having children! I then began to understand some of the reasons why God created it in the first place and why he instructs that it happen within the context of marriage. That means if married couples had great sex, they should have amazing results, be really productive and even successful…that’s the design! 


Whether the picture i just painted is what obtains is another matter entirely 🙂 Men who stay faithful to their wives in marriage are extremely scarce; it’s so scarce, the issue is scary! Many men know the right thing to do, and some, having deprived themselves of this “heavenly experience” before marriage, have decided not to hold back but to have it to their fill! This article is to address the frustration of married men who have vowed to stay faithful to their wives, have done so till date and yet are like bachelors living with a roommate. There are married men who are consistently starved of sex by their wives in the name of different things. Let me be quick to say that i am not perfect, but understanding overtime has made the difference in my marriage. I usually would shy away from an article like this, but my heart reaches out to do my bit in salvaging a few marriages from the brink of a break up.


A lot of how a marriage turns out depends on the woman; and the area of sex is not exempted. I believe when a woman understands certain things, life will be easier for her. Here are a few of those things my darling woman:

 1) Have you studied and do you understand your husband’s sex drive? Whose is more? What does he like? Or are you merely repeating the same mistakes and keep wondering why he’s always angry about sex?

 2) You wonder why your husband asks for sex so often as if it’s food. Have you asked yourself, what if it is food to him? How can you work things out? It’s simple; by communication. Once there’s problem in sex in a marriage, it’s easily traced to a breakdown in communication…..the husband’s not happy about something and he’s keeping mute about it, or the wife wants things done in a particular way but doesn’t want to talk about it for fear of being misquoted. Once there are wrong assumptions or misunderstandings, the bedmatics department suffers malnutrition.

3) Do you know that starving your husband of sex for a prolonged period can drive him crazy, literarily? Don’t ask me if i’ve seen men like that 🙂

4) Do you know that if he’s not getting sex at home and goes out, he’ll bear the consequences, and you’ll not also be spared when the ripple effect sets in?

5) Do you know that once your sex life with your husband is comatose, the marriage almost doesn’t exist; otherwise, why not go live with just any guy if you’re not having sex with him? I think you can do every other thing with any other guy and it will be perfect, except sex. Sex is beautiful, perfect, devoid of guilt and consequences, only in marriage!

6) Do you know that if your husband is not sexually satisfied, it can greatly affect his all round productivity? His thinking is clearer when he’s satisfied.

7) Do you know that pregnancy is no reason why sex should stop? Except on doctor’s orders of course….Don’t use pregnancy as an excuse; it’s a blessing, not a disease.

 8) Do you know that on the day a man got married, he believed that his “chasing” days were over; and so whenever you say no to him, it wounds him more than you know because of the ego that hates to be rejected or feel humiliated?

 Today, i am on the men’s side. The next article will be in favour of the women. It’s called being balanced 🙂 Watch this space!!


3 responses to “Temitope Adeolu-Akinyemi: Sex…..what’s the big deal?

  1. Pingback: Temitope Adeolu-Akinyemi: Sex……what’s the big deal? Part II « yomzie·

  2. Pingback: yomzie·

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